In an Autumn State of Mind

Autumn, like summer, is only approximately related to the boxed numbers of the calendar that hangs in the kitchen reminding us of events, appointments, and milestones. The calendar tells me that there is another month of summer, but I am not deceived. Summer is over for me now. As long as it was possible to imagine the next week looking very much like the previous week, as long as it was possible to hang on to the past, it was summer. But this morning when I woke up, it was the first day of fall.

Today is the first day of pre-season for Newton North cross-country. Today, North's coaches will see the first fruits of summer training, and will see the fist glimpse of potential in a new class of freshmen.

Today, I have to keep reminding myself not to fear change. For the first time in seven years, I will not be working with a Newton North XC team, having taken a coaching job at Concord Academy, instead. I am excited to have that opportunity, but suffering a little bit today at the emptiness of not going to practice.

It has been a summer of letting go. In addition to leaving the Tigers of Newton North for the Chameleons of Concord, I am also experiencing a transition in the other half of my working life. The small, family-like company where I have worked for many years was sold, and is being absorbed into a much larger company. Many of my friends are leaving, setting off in new directions. Emotionally, we want to hold on to the past, even when we know that it is healthier to move on.

It has been a wonderful summer in many ways. It was absolutely inspiring to meet so many runners through the Newton Summer Running Project, and I feel eager to follow them all through their fall seasons. I wish my own training had led to better racing, but perhaps the rough times I had at summer races will help me adapt my training to the realities of age, as I try to get the most out of my nearly-fifty-year-old body.

As for this blog, well, I think it also needs to change, but it isn't completely clear to me how. I would like to continue to cover the exploits of Newton North, its Bay State rivals, school alumni, the wider world of track and field, running in general, my own running experiences, and the various random philosophical issues that become important to me from time to time. I have considered whether to split the blog into multiple blogs to allow for more focus. For now -- for at least the next week -- I'm going to continue to write about all the things that interest me, through black and orange tinted glasses.

I look forward to the Fall. It will get cold, It will get rainy. I'll make mistakes, but with luck and perseverance, I'll learn from them. With running or with writing, the important thing is to keep showing up willing to take risks, willing to learn.