I coach an athlete -- a sprinter -- who has been reluctant to enter any track meets this winter -- even low-key, all-comers meets -- because she feels unprepared for competing in a "real" meet. Being a nice, sympathetic coach, I direct most of my efforts at helping her feel more confident. However, I also find myself selling the idea of competing, even when under-prepared, as a learning process. In that spirit, the other day I told her, "Every time you compete, you learn something. Running a race, getting a mark or a time, is like having a good friend who'll tell you the truth about important things when no one else will."
I felt like a hypocrite.
The truth in my case is that for far too long I've been reluctant to race on the track because the idea of running fast had become a mental obstacle for me. The thing is, it has been nearly two years since I last put on my spikes and heard the starter say "on your marks." In that time, I've lost touch with speed and definitely lost the "edge" that you get when you race middle distances. Being older, I never lacked for reasons and excuses to avoid the more intense races, but even when healthy, I never could seem to motivate myself to start working on speed again. It was much easier to keep running slow mileage and lots of it and postpone my rendezvous with the track to the next season... and the next... and the next.
With the year winding down, I felt like it was time to take my own advice and get back to racing. Maybe the result wouldn't be a pleasing one, maybe my ego would take a little bruising, but it was time to find out where I stood. If I ran poorly, I would be motivated to train better, and I believe that whether you're 15 or 50, it's still all about the training.
So I entered the third and final BU Mini-Meet, signing up for the 3000m. The BU meets are low key, with plenty of heats for "sub-elite" (the old, the lame, the infirm...). But here was my first problem: I didn't know how to seed myself. I didn't want to be last in a fast heat (Oh, the vanity! We never want to finish last...), but I knew that I would run better if I was in a heat with a lot of people running my pace. I finally settled on the roundest number I could think of, 10 minutes even, or 40s per lap. Immediately after sending in my entry by email, it occurred to me to plug my most recent 5K time into a race prediction calculator to see what IT thought was realistic 3K time for me. The answer came back: 10:23. Terrific.
Arriving at BU on Saturday morning, I was surprised how nervous I was. Somehow the concept of "low-key meet" had been replaced in my brain by "life or death struggle to maintain the last shreds of self-esteem as a runner." Well, I told myself, no one else will notice or care whether you run well or poorly... Relax, you're anonymous here... No pressure...
At that moment, I ran into Chris Barnicle and Paul Norton. Both of them were running the 3k. Chris had recently returned from Iten, Kenya, where he had been training with world-class runners. A couple of years ago, Paul had also spent significant time training in Iten, so they spent a few minutes chatting, sharing stories and impressions of the experience. Chris mentioned that he had really learned the value of running long runs at a hard pace, for example, 3:20 per kilometer for 30-35k. After a few minutes more of such talk, the subject turned back to the meet, and Chris politely asked about my goals for the race. I told them I wanted to break 10:00 --- 3:20 per kilometer, or Chris' new long run pace.
There were a lot of people entered in the 3k. Chris and Paul were in the first heat (of six total) and I was in the fifth. So I got to watch Chris take the race from the gun and rip off a 60s opening 400 before settling into a rhythm of 32s per lap. He finished in 8:00.82, lapping several runners in the process. It was very impressive, even though I guessed he wouldn't be happy to be on the wrong side of 8:00. In any case, watching such a fast race made me feel very slow, indeed.
In the third heat, Newton North Asst. Coach Sean Wallace used a great move in the final 600m to win n a time of 8:55. "Everyone is fast," I thought, "except me."
Finally, it was time for the fifth heat. Standing on the track with the other 15 runners, I remembered how I hated those last few moments before the start. Better to make the mind go blank, or focus on responding to the first command with two small, patient steps to the line. Then, after a second that seems like a minute, the gun, and the end of all that terrible anticipation.
I got off the line quickly and settled immediately in fourth place around the first turn. My goal was to run 40s per lap. Simple. In theory, there were only a few people in this race who would average better than that. However after we passed first 200 in 39, about 3-4 runners behind me decided the pace was too slow and passed me. 400 in 79 and the crowd in front opened up a little gap. My friend Joe yelled at me to let the pack pull me along, but I wasn't budging from my pace. Let the pack come back to me.
I passed 1k in about 3:19 in about the same position, and then, sure enough, people started coming back. I almost tripped someone clipping their heel from behind, someone almost tripped me in the same way. We had bunched up, which meant that the pace was going to slow down, so I ran wide for 100 meters and improved my position a little bit. 1600 in 5:19, 2k in 6:38. Just run 40s laps.
Through the middle part of the race, I was really surprised at how, despite running evenly, I didn't feel good at all. After the race it didn't seem like a mystery. I was running at a pace that I rarely run in practice. I was NOT prepared to feel relaxed and efficient at this pace, but I was also just fit enough to keep it going. In other words, I was in good enough shape to make this really hurt.
Still running very close to 40 per lap, I started moving up. My mouth was very dry, and I knew from previous experience how my lungs would hurt after I finished. With five laps to go, I started thinking that maybe I could go a little faster if I had to. With 3 laps to go, I picked up the pace just a little to go around another runner. With 2 laps to go I was pretty sure I could break 10:00 after all if I didn't die first. With one lap to go, I threw what was left into the effort and passed one more person, moving up into 3rd on the final turn. The last 40 meters were pretty ugly, but I pushed hard through the line and held my place. Final time: 9:55.64.
On the plus side, I raced. Although my lungs hurt all day, and my legs felt like they had been in a street fight, but it was exhilarating to be racing people. In my heat, seven runners finished within five seconds. That kick mattered!
On the plus side, a bunch of Newton North alums showed up, including Dan, Jesse, and Ben Chebot, Evan Morse, and Chris, of course. It was great to have them yelling as I tried to finish what I had started.
On the plus side, I ran faster than I expected, and on the plus side, there's no reason for Speed and I not to become better acquainted again.
On the minus side, well, it hurt! I'm telling you, getting older, running slower, it doesn't matter, you can still make yourself suffer.
Other meet notes:
- NNHS alum John Blouin competed in the mile, running 4:50.13.
- Peabody senior Nick Christensen ran a huge PR in the mile, coming from behind to win the seeded heat in a time of 4:12.56. According to DyeStat, that is the #2 HS time in the country so far this season.
- Kara Haas set an American age-group record for women 40-44 in the 3K, running 9:50.16, breaking the old record of 9:51.60.
- There was a 4 x 1600m relay at the end of the meet. The Whirlaway Racing Team destroyed the listed world record for men 50+, running 19:17.61, but I didn't stick around long enough to see it. Liberty AC set the Over-60 women's world best with 28:57.57. Brookline had a team in the relay, as did a college team with Brookline alums Mike Burnstein and Jerzy Eisenberg-Guyot. I was rooting for a tie.
- I saw a bunch of kids with Newton North singlets, but I didn't recognize them and I don't know what they ran. Maybe the relay?
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1 comment:
It's nice to see a runner who I think has it all figured out, still has his doubts about his own abiilites. In reality, finishing shortly after Jon at the finish means it was a good race.
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